The dentist’s office was white. Its walls were painted white, the waiting chairs were all white and a white nurse, wearing a white hat, was seated behind a white desk. Even Hitler, hanging on the wall, was wearing a white trench coat. When the doctor emerged from his office he warmly greeted the boy and his father. Just as they were about to enter the clinic a woman waiting in line blurted “Dr. Schwarz! You cannot treat that boy. I know him. He’s Jewish”.

“Is he”? asked the doctor. 

“Of course not” chuckled the father. “The boy is one quarter Jewish once removed. Jewish by marriage. Strictly kosher under the Nuremberg Laws, if you will excuse the pun”. 

“Okeydokey” replied the delighted doctor.

“No, that’s no longer true” protested the woman. “Doctors can only treat one quarter Jews once removed if their parents have special dispensation. I should know. I read the papers” she said with pride. 

-“No, that’s also wrong ” replied a third man wearing a pointy hat and holding a golden cigarette lighter. “The doctor can only treat the boy if the father has a special wartime dispensation.”

“A-ok”, smiled the Doctor and asked “Do you have a special dispensation?”

-“Oh yes. I won the Iron Cross in the Somme”. 

“The Somme! Hunky dory! Now, let’s look at that tooth!”

“No! No!”, protested the woman yet again, stomping her right foot. “WWI is no longer regarded as wartime dispensation. It’s because of them we lost that war in the first place. Besides” she shrugged her shoulders, “it goes according to the mother. If he is one quarter Jewish by his mother, then he can’t be treated by German doctors”.

“She’s right”, nodded a fat woman wearing a purple headscarf. “It goes according to the mother. My ladies doctor told me that it actually goes by the mother’s mother. If the bitch is a Jew than so is all the litter”.

“Yes I see. Well, this is a bit of a pickle” surmised the doctor. 

-“What’s holding up the line” yelled an old man in the back. “I’ve been waiting for hours”. 

The father then explained that the mother’s mother was also Jewish by marriage so the “boy is one sixteenth Jewish once removed on his mother’s side with no Jewish blood”.

“Well then. That’s that” exclaimed Doctor Schwarz clapping his hands. 

“I don’t think so” quarreled the man in the pointy hat trying to recall a memo he had recently read. Taking a drag from his cigarette he explained, “If the mother is one quarter Jewish, even by marriage, then the boy can’t be treated in a German clinic unless the marriage has been annulled. I should know”, he told the protesting woman, “I work at the department of transport”.

-“Huh”, she replied, “everyone’s an expert. Oh these laws are so silly! Just label them all Jews and be done with it”.

“She’s right”, agreed the fat woman. “Who has time to go look up every patient’s mother’s mother? The lines at my ladies doctor have become so long! So long! And sometimes I have such a rash down there.”

The old man now stood and yelled again “What’s the hold up. I’m in agony”. 

-“We’re all in agony” replied the fat woman moving uneasily in her chair adding “such a rash down there”.

The Doctor smiled and, placing his hands on the boy’s shoulders, yelled “we think this boy is Jewish”.

The old man yelled back “You think he is a blowfish?” 

“No, no” laughed the doctor and said aloud “Jew-ish. We think we have a Jew-ish”

The helpless doctor looked around and commented “Well this is a mess”. He then asked the nurse if she happened to have a copy of the Nuremberg Laws? The nurse tilted her head, raised her eyebrow and peered into the doctor’s eyes as if to say “Bitch, Please”.

“Is there a lawyer in the room?” asked the Doctor finally. To his surprise, the old man raised his hand and came forward limping and shaking violently. White, short hairs covered his lower face and he was wearing a torn jacket. “I’m a lawyer”, he said slowly.

The doctor pointed and said “This boy’s mother’s mother is one quarter Jewish by marriage and his father has a WWI special dispensation. Can I treat him?” 

The old man looked down at the boy, stroked his right cheek and asked kindly “Do you have a toothache?”

“Yes” whispered the boy.

“There doctor. Now you can treat him” said the old man.